Many people think they have to be perfect or feel validated to be lovable, as if their lives must be free of chaos. Some of us think we must be adored to be lovable. I had this faulty belief that if I were crucified or marginalized by a certain group of people, then they would somehow overshadow the light in me. So, I built a huge wall to protect my heart and felt the need to constantly prove to others that I am who I am, or that I am a good somebody. Somehow, I believed that their criticism could stop me from shining. And in trying to defend my reputation, or living on eggshells to keep them happy, I became someone that I could barely recognize. Instead of protecting my heart, peace, and joy, I’ve allowed their projections to turn me into an angry lady. The thing is, it was never my job to convince them of anything, just like nobody has to force anyone to know an apple tree when he sees one. Also, no one has to force an apple tree to produce apples because it produces them naturally, and has nothing to prove to any other trees, since the fruits it bears speak for themselves. Hence, the Bible says you shall know them by their fruit. Looking back at my life now, I’ve realized that God had me in mind the whole time. All I needed was a heart transplant, which is something that only God can do.
When God transforms someone’s heart, He will make it tender, loving, and compassionate. However, that person must be willing to let God lay him down on His surgery table. I remember going through a situation, and I spent many days and nights lamenting to God about it. And I will never forget the day God showed me in a vision that He cut open my heart. At first, I saw that my heart was scarred all over. As I continued to watch the scene, I saw God cut open my heart; then inside my heart was a pebble and a little flower. God removed the pebble and closed it back; then another interesting thing I saw was that He layered my heart several times over the scars, and He placed a capital letter “L” over the layers of my heart as a seal. Then He took what looked like a charger cord attached to the table and charged me up just like one would charge a phone. As the charge went through me, it looked green and different shades of green until I was completely charged; then the light was a steady bright green, as if a phone was completely charged. So, the moment He removed the scene from before me, He allowed me to understand two things: #1) He’s about to transform my heart; #2) the big letter “L” meant that He would then be the Lord over my life, which also meant that I would be filled with His love and joy. Mind you, I had this vision in 2018, but it didn’t come to pass until the end of 2024. So, it happened about 6 to 7 years later, not overnight.
When God performed that surgery, I didn’t know that’s what He was doing until later; all I know is that the process He had me go through to get it done was not easy. Since my heart had turned cold in many areas of my life, I really had to learn to die to my flesh to receive my freedom in Christ. However, when I compare the old me to the new me and what I have received in exchange, it was totally worth it. He also blessed me with the fruit of the Spirit. I became so joyful, loving, and bubbly. I felt like myself again with the joy that I had as a little girl, but on a much deeper level. I can never thank God enough for this transformation. To Him be all the glory! Amen!
And why did I share this with you?
I want to encourage someone on the other side of the screen to stay hopeful, even when you struggle to become a better version of yourself. When you are stuck in negative patterns, this is not the time to let go of the wheel. It is a time to persevere in the Lord, to keep knocking, and to ask God to set you free. Jesus said in Matthew 5:6, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” God will never reject those who come to Him with a contrite heart. God can do anything, and if you desire to draw closer to Him, God will give you what your heart desires because He wants each of us to have the love of Christ in our hearts.
And why is that important?
We live in a world where Love is essential, and we underestimate His power because God is Love. We think we must show up in a room with an attitude or a mean face to look important. The false belief we’ve learned is that if we show love to others, we might be viewed as weak or old-fashioned. But I’m here to tell you that the love of Christ within you is enough to uproot the forces of darkness embedded in someone else if you are willing to die to self. I believe the most important thing for us to remember is that a pure and tender heart makes room for the anointing of God to flow.
Interestingly, we always say for the oil to come out, the olives must be crushed, and that’s exactly right! But how does it feel when you can no longer retaliate? When you can no longer take matters into your own hands, manipulate, or clap back? This level of submission is like being crushed, especially if these habits were what you once felt empowered by.
The truth is that bad habits are never strong foundations. They were never meant to sustain anything. Christ is the firm foundation for everything, and each time you see love, you see God. No wonder God is in the business of restoring broken families with Love. And how many marriages do we know that are destroyed over fights and retaliation? How many great couples, after many years of separation, realized things could have been resolved if they had let Love in? Love could have shown them how to win each other’s hearts through Him/Love.
Another key point to remember is that it is better to operate in love toward everyone because we never know what others are going through. The Bible says in Proverbs 26:20, “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.” So, evil cannot be overcome by evil because it makes things worse. But if you use love instead of evil, no matter how difficult it may be at that moment, the power of love will weaken and ultimately destroy wickedness. The Bible says that we are the light and the salt of the earth. But wait a minute!
We cannot be satisfied simply by saying we are the light and the salt of the earth. We must also demonstrate the difference the light makes in a dark room and the difference the salt makes in a tasteless environment. The beauty is when we team up with the Holy Spirit and allow ourselves to be on God’s surgery table to be transformed; then we become agents of transformation. One thing we can be sure about God’s operating room is that He cannot make mistakes because He is not like human surgeons. God knows exactly where to cut you, and He does everything with precision, including your recovery. I used to wonder why God had to wait 6 years for my heart surgery. The answer is simple: it’s because I wasn’t ready for it in 2018. Just like any human surgeon would make sure their clients don’t have a life-threatening condition before they let them into their operating room, God is even more concerned about our overall well-being.
Lastly, I believe all it takes is a deeper revelation of God’s love, or maybe I should say a deeper revelation of who God is. Because once you have truly tasted and seen God’s love, it’s like you are exposed to a beautiful experience you cannot unsee or deny. Love is so powerful that He turns the whole world upside down. God could have shut down the earth after sin entered the world and started all over again. Right now, as we speak, God can shut down the whole world and declare the end, but God’s love, God’s heart, would not allow Him.
Consider the level of love Jesus and Stephen demonstrated in these instances. In Acts 7: 55-60. The Bible says that one of Jesus’ disciples, named Stephen, was stoned because of his faith in Jesus. As he was being stoned, he looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and Stephen prayed, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. Then he fell on his knees and cried out, Lord, do not hold this sin against them. When he said this, he fell asleep. The Bible doesn’t specify why Jesus stood up. We don’t know whether He stood up to tell Stephen that everything is alright, or to tell the evildoers that enough is enough. We don’t know! Nonetheless, a few chapters later, Scripture tells us that Jesus confronted Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:1-14). From a human’s perspective, this was the best time for Jesus to take revenge because Paul was one of Stephen’s enemies. But look at how Jesus dealt with Paul. Do you know Jesus didn’t have to heal Paul after He blinded him? God could have allowed him to preach His Word while he was blind to suffer for what he did, since he had killed Stephen. But, friends, Scripture tells us that Jesus allowed Paul to recover his sight. Look at how compassionate Jesus was toward him. This is called Love in action. So, when Jesus told His servant Ananias that He would show Paul what he must suffer for His name’s sake, Jesus was not referring to sufferings that would come from Him. But afflictions that would come from his own people and from those whom Paul least expected.
Always remember that God’s love draws us near Him, not His judgment. His love makes us want to change. Even though God will surely judge wickedness on earth, God is driven by love because He is Love. God wins our hearts by loving us unconditionally and nailing our sins to the cross.
When you have a minute, I would recommend that you meditate on these two common yet powerful verses. Read them and think about them repeatedly: John 3:16 and 2 Peter 3:9.
Be Blessed!
SCRIPTURES
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9